Strength of the desire
In fact, such a result in me in accordance with expectation, too
for change such final result make great efforts I, just my efforts,
can not still put down the principle that I conduct oneself, can
not change my natural instinct at heart. So I know, my efforts will
not change the result of the thing.
As to such a result, speak one's mind, some ideas that I am are
difficult to accept from the emotion in other words, after all, it
is too numerous that I pay wholeheartedly, I think after all what
is worth paying has given up much more for oneself. As to such a
result, a lot of friends complain of unfairness for me too, someone
says to me: I have warned you for a long time, are not worth;
Somebody says to me: Let's give up! Care about and exhort in the
face of the friends, I smile, I just smile.
Certainly, someone takes pleasure in other's misfortune too, the
thing that it couldn't be more normal that this is, face some
people's eyes of disdaining difficult to perceive, my still very
quiet smile. Friend's well-meaning consolation, rival's proud
moaning and moaning, will not change a person, loyalty to
undertaking correctly of mine, will not change the principle that I
conduct oneself, the faith that will not change my life, will not
let me break and support my life and desire of the life palace
completely.
Reviewed oneself and moved towards more than 20 years of the
society, left oneself from one's own most loved friend originally,
until person that oneself believe in most give up oneself nowadays,
trials and hardship that I take a shower can be regarded as a lot
too, go through frustration during this time, have a trial test
bitter and sweet and sour and hot, a few words spoken parts in an
opera unable to explain clearly forever maybe. Ditch, bank too
fine, even the most in the low ebb, I either disheartened to pass
to life in life, not desperate to the life. 26 year, I go out of
school door, child that childishness does not take off just from
one already, turn into one the setting sun decrepit and behind the
times whom the west lay, I have changed, but the only ones that
have not changed are the pursuit to one's own faith, I put down a
lot of too, have put down desire of life while being only.
" desire " ,Pieces of word that pass different judgements on, a lot
of people think it to lead the ill-intentioned expression in one's
eyes, so just there is statement that avarice knows no bounds. And
I, repel the desire except one's own life and dictionary of the
life, I always think: One, can't have too many desires, there are
many desires, will become greedy, become possessed with a lust for
gain, make avarice knows no bounds. But people must not have no
desire, one has no person that wants, just as a tree has no root, a
bird has no wing, there will not be motive force of vigor and life
of surviving. Such a thought perhaps, let I low ebb the most in
life, full of more illusion to a own one in the future still, even
if stand on a commanding point of the voyage once in a while
oneself, I have seen the peak with higher life. Exactly have desire
unsatisfied with the current situation like this too, on the voyage
of the life, I am untiring to keep forging ahead and make great
efforts and never think of giving up.
The desire is not the dreadful monsters, can control " desire "
with degree by oneself ,The engine of one's own life, is the
lubricant of one's own life roller chain, it can be oneself,
according to inserting the wings hovering. More than once, stand in
the lower, what I am looking at at a distance is mere, I saw the
gorgeous color outside one's own world, I say to oneself: That is
what I need, that is what I expect, that is passed nine ones that
can have of efforts by me. Then I on with one's head low,
hunchbacked, continue cart to spur life, continue forward at one's
own runway of life.
Already old leader of the pensioner once said to me in one unit:
Don't saying wholehearted give up by you, you do not want you to
make great efforts; The ones that do not need either against one's
will say to others you do not want, you do not want, others would
not give the good things in charity to you. To the thing that you
expect, you will strive for, so long as the method that you try is
apt, so long as the means that you try has not injured others, it
is unnecessary for you to feel guilty. People are at any time,
don't give up doing things, doing things hard, not doing things or
giving up, just make oneself difficult, other people will not
receive any loss.
So many year, I remember of him, so many years, I am feeding one's
own desire too, so, though the result this time is not what I want,
the result this time lets me become once another loser, but only a
failure on this thing, in the work, in life, I will not give up,
will not give up faith, will not give up the desire, I will also
make great efforts to make the thing that oneself should do, make
the thing that oneself likes being done.
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